


Extended Metaphors

by blackkat



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [68]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-27 22:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12591620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: It had been a drunken whim, coming on the heels of his breakup with Yugao, to add his name to the list of candidates for political marriages, and even when he’d remembered the next morning Hayate had waved off the notion that anyone would pick him.Most people are at least mildly alarmed by a shinobi with a chronic illness, after all.





	Extended Metaphors

**Author's Note:**

> For a prompt on my Tumblr: ever since you mentioned that arranged marriage kisaobi fic ive been thinking about other fun arranged marriage pairings, and i mulled sakuoro over briefly but my brain seems to have settled on goddamn. zabuza/gekko, what have you done to me kat, i don't know the why or the how of this idea but my brain keeps whispering "think of how much fun it would be"

“ _What_?” Hayate demands, and immediately starts coughing.

Tsunade rolls her eyes, but gets up and comes around the edge of her desk to shove a green-limned hand against his chest. “You volunteered, Gekkō, I remember that clearly. Peace between Kiri and Konoha, against Kumo gathering strength and Suna maneuvering for political power?”

Hayate tries not to flinch back from the touch—her hand is warm, and the chakra eases the vice around his lungs, but at this point it’s automatic to expect cold touches and colder instruments when a doctor touches him. “I thought…” He trails off, because he hadn’t been thinking. It had been a drunken whim, coming on the heels of his breakup with Yugao, to add his name to the list of candidates for political marriages, and even when he’d remembered the next morning he’d waved off the notion that anyone would pick _him_.

Most people are at least mildly alarmed by a shinobi with a chronic illness, after all.

Tsunade's expression is somewhere between sympathetic and amused. “I have your signature on the contract, Gekkō. If you're going to back out, it will take a hell of a lot of doing.”

“No, no,” Hayate says hastily, raising his hands and taking a half-step back. He turns his head to cover a cough, takes a breath, and asks, “Who is it?”

Tsunade leans back against her desk, folding her arms over her chest. “Terumi Mei apparently chose him for you specifically,” she informs him. “He’s one of the people who worked with her to overthrow the old Mizukage.”

A revolutionary or a traitor, depending on how one looks at it. Hayate doesn’t allow himself to wince, but it’s a bit of a near thing. He’s glad Kiri managed to escape the Sandaime Mizukage’s rule, but the whole idea is a hard one to swallow, honestly. “It’s not Hoshigaki, is it?” he asks, faintly wary.

Amusement slants across Tsunade's expression. “No, Gekkō, you're safe from the Tailless Tailed Beast,” she says, and Hayate kind of wants to protest the humor in her tone. Hoshigaki Kisame is _terrifying_. “I believe he already decided on his spouse by himself.”

Which would probably be why Aoba has been wandering around with that ridiculous goofy grin, Hayate thinks, and tries not to sigh. That wedding is going to be…interesting. “Is it—”

“Momochi Zabuza,” Tsunade finishes for him, before he can guess again.

Hayate blinks.

From outside the door, there's a sound, and then it opens. Hayate turns sharply, still recently enough come from his encounter with Baki that he’s more than a little twitchy, and his hand automatically goes to his sword as he shifts in front of his Hokage.

The tall man in the doorway raises one short brow at him, expression amused above the bandages covering his face. His eyes flicker down to Hayate’s hand where it rests on his sword hilt, and something like excitement kindles in his eyes.

“You called, Hokage-sama?” he asks Tsunade, though his eyes never leave Hayate.

Tsunade makes a sound that’s equal parts amusement and buried exasperation. “Get out of my office and find a sparring area for that kind of thing. I expect your paperwork back here by tomorrow, got it, Gekkō?”

Hayate would answer, but—

Zabuza has a shadow. A boy with his dark hair caught up in a bun, who’s practically standing on the Kiri swordsman’s heels as he hovers behind him. Hayate looks from him to Zabuza, catches a flicker of calculation as the swordsman judges his response, faintly cautious in a way the Demon of the Bloody Mist isn’t rumored to _ever_ be, and…

Smiles, just a little.

He coughs, covers it with a hand, and bows to his future husband. “Gekkō Hayate, it’s an honor to meet you.”

Surprise and then something that’s close to excitement chase each other across Zabuza’s face. “Gekkō? You're supposed to be the best swordsman in Konoha. Dance of the Crescent Moon, right? I've wanted to fight you for a long time.”

It’s been a long time since someone actually recognized him, Hayate thinks, or heard him cough and didn’t immediately dismiss him. He looks Zabuza over, takes in Kubikiribōchō slung across his back, and feels his own flicker of interest. He’s heard about that sword and what it’s able to do, heard even more about Zabuza and always faintly hoped they’d be able to cross blades. News of a new alliance with Kiri had killed that hope, but clearly Zabuza doesn’t object to a friendly spar.

“I think I can say the same,” he says evenly, and sees Zabuza’s grin widen beneath the concealing bandages.  

“The first rule of a successful marriage,” Tsunade says dryly. “Out of my office. Take your sword metaphors somewhere else.”

“Tsunade-sama!” Hayate protests, feeling heat flood his face. The woman just laughs at him, waving them out, and pointedly shuts the door behind them.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Extended Metaphors [PODFIC]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14961281) by [arkadyevna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arkadyevna/pseuds/arkadyevna), [Opalsong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opalsong/pseuds/Opalsong)




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